the 911 basso-matic

Who says the news is always depressing? If you look hard enough, there's a lot of comedy too - um, tragicomedy, perhaps.

CNN reports that Joshua Basso of Tampa recently called 911 for a personal emergency; he ran out of cell phone minutes and desperately needed a friend. Of all the toll free numbers to call, he chose the one number that coordinates directly with the local police. And, the one number that usually records its calls.

The tape indicates that he was trying to coerce the 911 operator to come to his house for an evening of lewd entertainment. He answers the 911 call with, "what's up?" Wrong already. He probably would have been more successful with Joey's opener, "how ya doin' " from Friends, as it had a proven track record. That's the problem with emergencies, not enough time to think clearly.

911 operator keeps Josh on the phone for a while, trying to get him to say his name while the conversation got raunchier and raunchier. Regardless, the local police were able track him down to his house; he was calling from the bathroom. The arresting officer requested that Josh relinquish his phone but he refused. The officer then called the number from the 911 records and, not surprisingly, the phone rang in Josh's pocket.